Couples Counseling
Most couples I work with love and care for each other very much, but get caught in a repeating cycle that is difficult to stop despite their best efforts. I usually find that each partner is trying in their own way to make things better but it isn’t successful. And often what one partner is doing to protect themselves usually triggers the other partner and vice versa. This repeating dynamic is very difficult to alleviate without help. I assist couples in identifying these patterns, their individual needs and feelings, and what’s underneath them. Then I help the couple learn more effective ways of interacting and communicating, resulting in more intimacy and harmony on all levels.
Some typical reasons couples seek therapy with me are:
- Communication challenges
- Balance (work/life/family)
- Conflict management
- Pre-marital Readiness
- Major life change eg moving, death in the family, empty nesting, change in employment
- Intimacy
- Sex
- Parenting disagreements
- Extended Family
- Challenges discussing finances
- Substance abuse
- Infidelity
- Chronic Illness
Usually I see both partners of a couple together. However sometimes when one or both partners is having trouble really hearing the other it can be effective to see each partner individually for one or several sessions. This can help each develop a more productive way of expressing their feelings and also to help each understand what the other is trying to communicate. Both the Internal Family Systems and Intimacy From the Inside Out models recommend this (especially if partners aren't really listening to what the other is saying) but I only proceed this way if both partners agree and are comfortable with it.